First, the ridiculous graphic for today. Then I’ll explain myself.

I’ve found that the recipe for naming a sports team is very similar to that of naming a band; pull a random pop culture reference out of a hat, spice with some in-your-face attitude, and finish strong with an over-the-top, probably offensive graphic.

The reason I say this is because I was trying to Photoshop up an accompaniment to a classic story of mine, but ended up with a potential jersey for my next tryst in sports teams.

While visiting my parents in Cambridge, England, my mother, brother and I took a break from a bike ride to grab tea outside of town. After a few minutes, a curious expression came across both their faces as they looked past me. I heard a faint buzzing sound, and turned around to see Professor/Demigod Stephen Hawking whirring our direction with a trio of ladies following along. They settled into the table next to us and one of the ladies ran to fetch some tea.

For the length of time that they sat there, an uncomfortable silence came over my family and I. Not only because we were in the presence of awkwardly-positioned greatness, but because for the entire time that they sat there, he spoke only in beeps.

Beep beep, motherfucker.